Time Passes
So. Almost a year later and here we are again. I have renewed my commitment to this playful little corner of the web and will be paying better attention to what goes on here.
That in mind, here's your first/next assignment:
What one thing stands out to you as you look back on this year?
(Respond in the comments as usual, please.)
That in mind, here's your first/next assignment:
What one thing stands out to you as you look back on this year?
(Respond in the comments as usual, please.)
Labels: Self-exploration
posted by Sallyacious at 9:11 AM
2 Comments:
The Year I Had to Say No
I've been working so hard, so very, very hard at saying yes to everything, to life, to opportunities, to new adventures. So much of the last few years has been spent either undoing someone else's painful handiwork or trying to make a place of my own in this temporary town. I've said Yes to everything, because when I said No, I had nothing to do.
As a result, I've taught and developed a bunch of classes, including one that I think could change the world, gained some skill as a photographer and had some awesome roles as an actor. I've also learned bookbinding and created some great wearable art. I've made some wonderful friends as well.
But the time has come to say No. Finally. Because I have too, too much on my plate and it's time to develop some balance. Here's how I've progressed since making that realization. In the past month I have: 1) placed a definite end date on our stay here (May/June 2009); 2) opted to not teach one of the year-long general ed courses I have been teaching; 3) chosen to not teach/develop a class that's actually in my field because I don't want to deal with all of the baggage that will come with it--mind you, I'm already doing some fairly cool stuff teaching in the field already; 4) said no to a biggish role/project so I can instead participate in a number of little projects that will ultimately take less time and give me a greater variety of experiences.
As you can see (because I keep qualifying my answers, most of these No responses are coming from my saying Yes to something else. I can't do it all, and I'm not getting any younger, so for now, I'm going to spend my time saying Yes to the stuff I really want to do and No to the stuff that kind of appeals but more or less gets in the way of the good stuff.
So that's my BIG memory/discovery/thing from the last twelve months. What's yours?
That I've been a fool. Not realizing until now how I've been used, understanding the "using" process in hindsight. Wondering how I didn't see the signs before. Maybe this came to be because I was a selfish Pollyanna, wanting to believe the best in people, overlooking their faults if it benefited me. And in my completely unselfish relationships, not understanding that, well, people really don't act honestly with other people. They are looking out for themselves. Yes, I know, this has the smell of a "pendulum" thing, where I will realize this is a severe reaction and eventually things will settle to the middle and I will understand that people both use each other yet care. But for now there is only a hollow feeling, a sense of the air just having whooshed out of the balloon that is my soul. Something positive that has come out of it? I have learned humility ... and that is not a bad thing. Humility, I embrace you.
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